Based On True Experience: From The Blogger's Desk...Edo People And Their Culture!

I am so happy to finally publish my first topic from "A Blogger's Desk". This segment is based on my personal experience as a wife, mother, blogger and business minded person. I will also include stories and experiences from other people based on their permission.I hope to keep up with this weekly post and with your candid comments and support.

Today, I want to talk about my experience based on been married into a culture totally different from mine. I'm pure Igbo but my man is from Edo (Benin)...Funny enough I have not dated any Edo before I met him so I didn't know much about Benin culture.


It started unfolding to me after I moved to Europe, then I learned that people living in this country are almost  like same Nigeria mentality.
 Some of this Edo men in Europe brought their Edo-ish culture along when they left the shores of Nigeria. In fact it baffles me sometimes when I see some Edo men behaving like villagers in Europe. I'm not saying the Yorubas or Igbos here are saint but these Edo men are so over shadowed by their cultures that they fail to understand that they need to have way for other cultures to flow in them.

Now what are these cultures that gets me so upset:
1. You can't hug a man that is not your husband but their men can hug any woman...(which I disagree)
2. Even if your ex bf or any man gives you money, unless you tell your husband, you MUST never cook food for your husband using money given to you by your ex boyfriend or any man. ( which I agree)
3. A man can never touch or hold your waist, if done you must kill a goat..(Hmmmm)
4.If your wife MUST hustle(prostitution work), then some sacrifice must be performed in order to cleanse the tradition surrounding the death penalty on any woman that cheats on their husband.(because the man dies if the woman does not perform the rites)
 5. They have this particular way you MUST greet,and each family have their own way of greeting.( I got scolded once for not greeting properly)

In fact, the list goes on and on, then I begin to ask myself are these people really living in this civilized world???. Although I heard that these cultures depend on families, not all believe in it.

Too bad the family I'm married into are so dip into these culture..... Why can't a woman live her own free world and be who they want??. Why living in pretense when you wish to be as open as possible. I'm glad my husband sees some of these cultures as lame but, he is too possessive and over protective(people who have come across us can testify)..Lol
Although he is learning to believe and trust people around me..According to him, some of his friends have betrayed him in the past. I told him even if you cage a bird, the day you leave the cage open, the bird must surly fly away...but if the bird get use to seeing the cage open always, the bird learns to fly back in when it's night.

Now to be sincere, do I wish I married my husband??...OH YES!. But do I wish he was from Benin???..HELL NO, because despite his sweet nature, it doesn't still change the fact that he grew up learning those cultures that subdues women. Funny enough I can't succumb.

This is the reason you see most Edo women either marrying a white man or from Igbo or Yoruba tribe simply because their men never appreciates them, they see them as means of acquiring money and wealth not as a wife..
I am a witness to that, I know of man who allows his wife to work in red light in Holland, he used to money to build mansion in Nigeria....Let's leave that story for any time.
This doesn't imply that there are no good Edo men out there...We have tons of them but check well before you enter...lol

Want to say a big thank you to my new buddy, that helped me out in this first topic. She is from Edo and I learned so many things about their culture from her. Thanks Abi, you are one in a million. Muaah.