From The Blogger's Desk: Sorrows From The Past(Contd)

Just as I was lying on my bed thinking, my roommate tapped me on my foot to tell me I have a visitor waiting for me at the door. At first I didn't want to get up because I wasn't in the mood to see anyone.

Reluctantly I stood up from my bed ready to spit venom on the person since I wasn't expecting anyone. Behold my mother was standing at my door, there I felt cold blood running inside me.

 At first I was scared of letting her in because of fears of what she might say to me. I slowly opened the door wide for her to come inside, but then my heart kept pounding harder.

She walked up to my bed side and sat there, waiting for me to come closer to her and without a warning and waiting to response to my greetings, I received two hot slaps on my face.
Yeah, I deserved it, I had let my mother down, I was already a disappointment to her. My roommate smelt trouble then she quickly packed her books and zoomed off for her afternoon lectures, leaving me in the hands of my angry mother.

                      Read The First Part Of From bloggers Desk Sorrows From Past.

Without looking into her eyes, I knelt down with tears begging my mother, because I knew she was hurt deep down inside her. I was meant to be a role model to my younger siblings but getting pregnant in the midst of this whole problems wasn't worth it at all.
After 20mins of begging and crying, my mother sat down again and took me in her arms, trying to console me.
She tried blaming herself for not taking her responsibility as my mother. She knew I was driven to what I did because I lacked attention and love from the family. Then she asked me the big question, what about the man who impregnated me?. There again my heart began to pound even harder because the worst story was about to come out.

I picked the courage to narrate to my mum everything then I could see her heart piercing deeper each time she takes a deep breath. Not only was I pregnant but abandoned by my baby' s father.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turn to month, and he never showed up. Then it occurred to me that I am all alone by myself. A single mother-to-be without financial support. I tried to attend lectures without letting my troubles weigh me down a lot but as my pregnancy grows, I become more troubled.

After 3 months of not seeing my supposedly prince charming, I went in search of him and to see how he has been coping knowing full well that the woman he claimed he once loved was pregnant and abandoned.

On getting to his compound, everyone turned silent on seeing me, some of the tenant living there who knew me well kept looking at me awkwardly, then I sensed trouble. 

I greeted each one of them as I managed to pass through to see my friends living in the same compound with him, then she gave me the shocking news of my life.
"This one you came to us today, how is your man doing in obodo oyibo?", mama Nkechi asked. "What do you mean?", I asked
"Which one is what do you mean?, your man Emmy na, abi you wan tell me say you no sabi say him dey obodo oyibo?".
Immediately I felt cold sweat running down my spine. I tried hiding the tears from running down but I couldn't, then she realized that she might have spilled too much for me.
I just had to leave to avoid more embarrassment. On my way home I kept thinking of what to do to end my life. I could barely feed, buy books for school, buy my clothes, feed my siblings how much more taking care of another addition.
It was best I terminate this pregnancy before it gets bigger but then I thought again, where do I get the money to abort it?.
Life indeed has no meaning, all this sufferings just alone for me?....God, that wasn't fair, I deserve a better life.
I remembered a friend one time telling me, the best place to get help was in catholic church. I decided to join a charismatic revival ministry not because I wanted to get closer to God but for people there to assist me through out my period of pregnancy.  And I must say, that was the best moment of my life, I was showed love, I never lacked until the birth of my daughter. I named her Amarachi, meaning God's mercy because despite everything he still had mercy on me. Amara looked more like her father who I hated so much.

I was still attending the charismatic church until Amara turned 3 months, then I knew it was time to quit and fend for my family. Yea, I had to join the good girls gone bad to make it up for my past life. I gave up my daughter to my mother just to concentrate in my hustling field. Although she never knew my intentions because I lied to her that I needed time to study and do legitimate business to fed the family. With the little money I saved from people's gifts after birth, I gave my mum to start up business.
Then my lane on hustling field just began, because my aim was to break every heart of men I come across. It was strictly business without pleasure. I was done with loving any man because the two men I had looked up to were disappointment to me.

Find out what happened next in my hustling field.....
By Stella Obike